well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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