Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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