weddingsv make me drug and hornr
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
