Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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