the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize