shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Are we still banned from the library?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
