I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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