I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize