hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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