god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
