I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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