Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just come out here and I will go home with you...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
