omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
