Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize