But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
