you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
