ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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