Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
