Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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