butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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