So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
