Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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