garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
