You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I lost the right to judge tonight
I need water and some morals
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
