okay pat passed out under dana's car
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
