I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
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