Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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