He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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