evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
