yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
