Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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