Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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