The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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