True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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