The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
