just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
