i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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