does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
