it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize