if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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