your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize