Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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