Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
