I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
