Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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