It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
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