If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
