Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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