office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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