summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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