So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
sex in a hospital.. check
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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