looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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