Soap is not a condiment
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
