It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize