i just sent this text using only my big toe
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
