i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize