gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Randomize
