I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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