the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize